¿Así que quieres ser escritor? 5 consejos para escritores que Bukowski nunca escribió

noviembre 7, 2020 Ensayos Cortos, Escritura Creativa, Literatura , ,

5 consejos para escritores que Charles Bukowski nunca escribió

1. Toma papel y lápiz —debe ser lápiz pues el bolígrafo es una creación abominable de la industria capitalista: estandarte de oficinistas y burócratas. El lápiz, en cambio, es el crucifijo del artista—. Escribe un par de garabatos sin sentido. Muerde el lápiz, degusta la madera empapada en sudor. Da buena cuenta del lápiz. Borra los garabatos y ráscate la cabeza con la mano izquierda mientras, con la derecha, te acaricias el mentón. Destruye la hoja y tírala al cubo de la basura.

2. Levántate y busca una cerveza. Bebe como si no hubiera un mañana. Repite la acción hasta que la mesa de trabajo sea un bosque de botellas vacías. Prueba mezclando con algo de whiskey, sin hielo. No mezcles con refrescos ni comas mucho. Olvídate de tu madre y de tu padre; de tus amigos y de las películas; de las canciones y de las mujeres. Olvida tu teléfono, eres un monje medieval, un ermitaño, un náufrago aferrado a la única balsa capaz de salvarlo todo: la botella.

3. Ya en estado de embriaguez, folla con la página en blanco. Abre sus delicadas piernas y penetra su virginal blancura. Córrete sin miramientos, sin contemplaciones. Nada de cursilerías. Nada de cariñitos. Expulsa todo y a dormir. Nada de abrazos: ya has follado y debes retirarte, mañana será otro día, la vida es así, muñeca.

4. La resaca y la euforia que vienen después de follar una página en blanco son difíciles de lidiar. El deseo de publicar, similar a las ganas de vomitar, se apodera de ti. Los temores y los nubarrones iniciales se difuminan: eres un jodido escritor y nada podrá detener tu marcha triunfal. Muchos logran vomitar en alguna editorial de mala muerte. Debes evitar a toda costa vomitar. Debes beber y beber. Embriagarte hasta perder la razón. Follar algunas páginas en blanco cada noche sin pensar mucho en las consecuencias, sin pensar en lo que vendrá después. Cuando estás encima de la página, montándola con los ojos en blanco y el rostro desencajado, no debes pensar.

5. A los tres días, con un harén de páginas manchadas en un cajón, te pones a editar. Es masturbación en estado puro. Masturbación madura, sin fantasías adolescentes. Lees lo tuyo y lo mejoras. Un tachón aquí, una anotación allá. Quizás destruyas unas cuantas. No importa, es otro tipo de orgasmo: el placer de la corrección.

Gabriel Rodríguez

@talleraltazor

¿Te gusta? ¡Puedes compartirlo!

60 comments on “¿Así que quieres ser escritor? 5 consejos para escritores que Bukowski nunca escribió”

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